So I went on a date tonight. And it was total awkward city. But not completely if I'm being honest. There were points in the conversation where it felt easy. But some of the times it was awkward. Like when he was flirty. And when he held my hand... Yup. AWKWARD.

I thought I was ready to start dating, but maybe I'm not. Or maybe he was just moving wayyyy too fast for a "first date." Maybe both.

He wants to go out again, but I don't know... Should I see how things go, or tell him sorry, not interested?

I want to move out. Have a place of my own. Do my own thing.

I need to save money.

Dog.

Independence.

Doing what I want.

Pros and cons.

Location.

Craft room.

Stopped growing.

Hello non-existent readers.

It's been foreverrr since I've been on xanga.

So this just going to be a collection of random thoughts that have been running through my mind lately. They may or may not have some kind of correlation between them.

Two of my close friends just moved back "home" to start their lives together. (sidenote: They've been together for forever, but I still can't believe that they're HUSBAND & WIFE. So WEIRD.) Just thinking about them being real grown-ups makes me question my place in life at the moment.

I want to go somewhere. "Anywhere but here." I want to take a spontaneous day trip to somewhere new. I want to explore. Have an adventure. Appreciate this beautiful world God has given us.

Ever since last week's confession (especially the immediate moments right after), I've felt incredibly free. Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Totally cliche, but completely true. It makes me wish I had the courage to say what I did say earlier. But maybe I wouldn't have been as grateful.. I'm so incredibly thankful for God's love and mercy. As human beings, we are not perfect people. But God will always love us. And He will always forgive. Which has blown my mind these past week. Nothing but love for God.

Mom's pissed about going out tomorrow. She always has bajillions of things to do over the weekend and is forever stressing. I honestly don't know why. I mean, chill, relax, enjoy life. You know you don't have to clean every weekend. We can always go to church on Sunday. Seriously (and I apologize for my language) calm the fuck down.

I am soooo socially awkward. I've known this for quite some time, but it has never been more apparent than last night at a work potluck dinner. Still don't know how to talk to grown-ups. Or people in general. Small talk, not my forte.

Blanket fort.

That's it for tonight..